I wouild have been extremely flattered that Audrey would show such a strong interest in collecting the letters I wrote to her. I was frequently complimenting her for how she had been making me feel, and I meant every word I said in them. I would have liked to have been able to keep Audrey's friendship well into any marriage she might be a part. There was one big problem to that taking place. One, I would have hoped that she could have fallen in Love with and with my personality and two, if she did marry another man, I would never feel comfortable talking to her be it on the phone or in person knowing how much I did Love her. As Audrey never expressed any degree of affection for me, other than to allow me to walk with her between her classes there just seemed to be some kind of mixed message. She rarely spoke from her heart. How did she really think of me? Was I some kind of case study to her? Going on observatioins alone, she seemed to act like an abused puppy; only to know what anxiety was like in her life.

In my early adult years I had gone through this kind of cenario with another woman. While today I do have a very good relationship with her and with her husband it was not a comfortable experience going through all that it took to get there. I cared for Regan very much as well. At least with Regan I knew that Regan was Catholic, and I never wanted to be surrounded by the Catholic church practices so there was conilation in knowing that I would not have been happy in that kind of a marriage anyway.