No one ever wants to think that their friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband would ever do anything with but the best of motives or intentions, but history can be the best evidence of the truth. It will not be the single event but in the accumulation of many single events over time that the truth can be best seen.

Today, I think back to reasons why a decision could be made for not wanting to continue a relationship that went bad. Henri had said that he was so angry by the numerous emails I had written to Audrey after he had heard her say to me on the phone, that she did not want to hear from me again. As I begin to think about this idea I have to wonder why she did not come to him (Henri?) much sooner to inform him that I had been emailing to her before now and on the material in the emails. Was I some kind of Lab Rat to her and that as long as the emails might indicate how I was or might now be involved with another woman, that then getting the emails from me were more tollerable? It can become a scary thought to think that as I might be pouring out my heart to another that they may have such a callas soul.

Concerning my emails to her, yes I do declare my innocense to anyone who may read this part of "My Diary" about Audrey Christiansen.

When ever you are tollerating anything of another individual that would normally make you feel irritated, you are not demonstrating any act of friendship when you allow it to continue, nor is the showing of pitty or sympathy ever an act of friendship either. It is perhaps an emotion even lower than one of friendship. It is easy to admire a skill of a man in being able to knit or crochet an afgan blanket, but when they know that they would like to give that afgan to you, your true feelings are more apparent and may only then bring you a sense of guilt in your own lack of ability to appreciate the gift. Audrey was such a woman; a woman who appeared to me as rarely ever having had a healthy affectionate relatiinship with her parents. True or not, these were the types of comments she had made to me very early on into our friendship.

[Note For Future Consideration: Discuss the 9 hours of talks Audrey had with Robert in Mercer Hall]. Why did she clasp my hand as I was about ready to leave the Floor Lounge Room?