I am not a person who generally keeps any form of a diary, but during my friendship to Audrey I enjoyed very much being able to write to her of how she had been making me feel. She was 20 years old when I had first come to know her. How can I say that I Love someone so much and then 12 months later explode in anger? This is what I hope to be able to explain. I attribute much of it to a Love that God did not want me to have; keeping knowledge away from me so that the explosion would be allowed to take place. Many people today downplay the importace of God in their lives, but when I look back in my own life on my own achievements I can't help but be amazed to see all the twists and turns it would take.

Do you know how many people will often have at least one person in their life that always seems to know what buttons to push to get them to explode in anger? Well, for me it was often times with my younger brother. While I knew this fact, I was unable to answer the question of "Why?". Of what I did know about myself I tried to tell Audrey. I would learn later on through retrospective thought and through the analyzing of my own feelings over the years that it was in the "who cares?" mentality expressed in words and deeds that would be the cause for these emotion to begin to boil. To be the best friend I could be her, I tried to consider her needs at all times. To take that effort and to say that it had no value to her, in affect, was extremely cruel as it tends to be a rare quality in today's society.

Most of mankind tends to think in the same way when it comes to accepting the idea of Jesus Christ as being the Son of God or in his being the only way to salvation from their sins as he would say in the Bible. I am no God, by any means, but as I have used the Bible as the template to how I would live my life, I believe that it will be in like reason that God will some day send many people to Hell, in how they too rejective his Love for us when Jesus Christ died on the cross. The problem will always be that none of us can ever prove that there is a God! For many of us the believing in the Bible can also be just as frustrating when observations may also be slow in coming.

I have devoted these web pages to memories of my long-ago friend Audrey Christiansen and in order that full truth might be known. To me the ideals of friendship were very strongly felt and equally important to me were the vows I would make along the way. The Bible would become the cornerstone to all that I would do or to what I would try to do. I am now 50 years old and what I find interesting is how women can come and express to me that they appreciate and Love the ability I frequently demonstrate in making them laugh. It was an attribute I enjoyed displaying to Audrey when ever I could. She could have seen more of this in me had she only allowed me to back away from her life when it was becomming unbareable being as close to as I had been. Which one of you would ever want to be near a woman that was constantly reminding you of thier inability at returning the same degree of Love to you as you had felt for her. If fate is fate for all, I hope that she will come to strongly regret losing that friendship. Of course in her eyes I will be the one that broke the friendship so I doubt those feelings of doubt will ever surface within her own heart.