There are many things that I enjoyed about Audrey's personality and the effort to make Audrey happy always came from how she had already beeen making me feel when around her. Nothing about me was artificial. Only if it was truly felt in my heart, would I say it to her. In my heart I held great affection and respect for her. I treated her as my equal always, and I would ask myself how would I want to be treated if I was her? Writing letters were the only way I could hold in the exuberance I would be feeling because of her from exploding into some kind of act such as "making a Pass on a young lady". As she rarely made any request of me, I would have done anything for her, though I do not think that she ever realized it. She meant a great deal to me and I cared very much for her! I was paranoid to express any degree of outward signs of the Love I was feeling towards her out my own fear of rejection.

The only way I felt comfortable in expressing any meaning of "I Love You" were through my actions. I was petrified with fear of the possible rejection of my affection I felt towards her. When I could clasp her hand in a more nutral environment it would bring me chills up my spine. As she will never read this, I feel comfortable in expressing these thoughts here.

I am a very private man when it comes to my emotions and to whom I would reveal them. And I can speak to any one of them except to the one to whom the affections are meant. From how she had described her childhood to me I believed that I could understnd how she might be feeling; her attitudes and some of the reasons for some of the moods she might be having. The greatest joy I would get would come from when I could acurately anticipate how she would act and then to hear her say words like "Yes, I had considered doing that this morning".One such memory I have was when dispite the snowy weather Seattle had been having, I had pondered whether Audrey would actually go against normal logic of wearing pants to school and actually come to class in a dress.

I never viewed Audrey as a conformist. She was a free thinking and a free spirit and I did not want to hold her back. I enjoyed being around someone who was intelligent; someone who could teach me something new. Even though I enjoyed writing letters to her, I never felt that they were worthy of collecting. For a long time she would tell me of this collection. To me it was awkward because she never showed her emotions to me. Rarely did she ever take the initiative to call me on the phone out of the blue, where I had not already called her.

During the daytime during the time she would be in class my own time was often occupied somewhere else designing some software application. When Audrey would have a significant break between class I would try to make the time to walk with her to her next class or along University Way. On those rare moments where we would go have a bite to eat she almost always insisted on "Going Dutch". I think she only allowed me to buy her lunch once at a place we called "The Last Exit", and I think the menu item was an Apple Cinomon Pie A' La Mode (a favorite desert of mine).